tarzan boys

i consistently have the best luck with cab drivers. there was the guy in austin that told me i need to go to more persian clubs because "middle eastern girls will suck your dick in the parking lot" and that he hates skinny girls because "it hurts his shit" to "keep fucking fucking fucking and always hitting bone." there was also the butch 50 year old cat lady that carried a police-issue maglite for protection and told me about the drunk driver that "ran her down in the street like a dog." and there was the guy in new york that told me i was a "faggot" for saying there were a lot of attractive dudes in new york. "FUCK DUDES MAN! I NEED A NICE PAIR OF TITS!" or the dude going 120 mph on the BQE on the way to la guardia. i could go on and on.

i had another amazing experience last thursday, after a weird, unplanned, and ultimately dissatisfying night out. it was 2:30ish, i had just been shuffled out of old monk, and the fake robert mondavi aka "blue velvet" was stumbling around looking for a cab in the rain. i knew i had to act quickly, so i said my goodbyes and hopped in front of him and into this cab that was pulling up. the driver, african-by-way-of europe, didn't even look back when i told him i where i was headed. staring straight ahead in the silent cab, he nodded solemnly and reached for the stereo controls. when he hit play on his CD player, the following track kicked in at a laughable, ear-splitting volume (i'm talking seriously loud):

he must have had it cued up for me. we hit the highway with the track blaring, the windows down, and the night's events turning over in my mind (was that a date? did i make it weird? why did i just stay out so late? and who was that fucking robert mondavi guy? why was he with that young couple?). we were jamming so hard. the most austere dude and the most confused dude on the road that night, bound together by their shared love of song. about the time we hit downtown, that track ended and i was treated to an outro (equally loud):

too much fun. thanks mr. dude for blasting me out of my self-imposed confusion and making me smile.